Awards

2021 - The year that Matt's best season was overshadowed by his biggest scandal. Premature Evacuator Matt (#PEMGATE) left the tied NL Wildcard game in the 9th inning, missing Chris Taylor's game-winning two-run walk-off home run. But things turned from simple embarrassment to scandal when Matt, in trying to prove he didn't leave early, put the nail in his own coffin by sending what appeared to be a stock photo from the stadium at sunset and, most incriminating, a selfie that he took in the nearly empty parking lot. This did not fool the surprisingly sleuthy YOB managers as it was quickly deduced that the selfie was an ass-covering attempt at an alibi after hearing the home run from the parking lot.

After an abysmal draft in 2021, Beau was able to pull off one of the most dominant seasons in league history through strategy, perseverance and the help of some unwitting but useful idiots along the way. I really don't know how, but through a series of 4 trades, he was able to swap out OBJ, the LA Rams Defense, Marquise Brown, Clyde Edwards-Helaire and D'andre Swift in exchange for Austin Ekeler, Joe Mixon, Stefon Diggs, Terry McLaurin and Christian Kirk. Criss Angel has already reached out to Beau for a meeting while he's in Vegas.